October 19, 2017

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Signs Your Man is NOT Ready to Commit

In my last post, I wrote about signs to look for, that show you the man you are dating is committed to you and your relationship.
If your man is not ready to commit, he also will tell you so – but you need to listen carefully and catch the following signs.
If your man doesn’t share himself with you, tell you who is, what he likes and dislikes as well as his hurts and successes – this may not be the right man for you. By being cautious and keeping you out of his life, he is giving you the message that you do not count – you are not that significant to him.
If he does not bring you home to meet his family or children from prior relationships, then he is not committed to you. Many sons will not bring a date home to meet their family, until they believe they have met the person who will be a part of their lives forever.
If your man is withholding and secretive about where he is going and with whom, then you have a problem. If a partner needs to keep a private “free” schedule, he is telling you, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want to be tied down to you. If he tells you he is going on vacation to think about your relationship, you can be pretty sure, he is probably going with someone else. He is telling you that your relationship is not significant, and therefore, neither are you.
If your fellow drops your hand in public, doesn’t take you out on dates, but rather suggests wining and dining only at home…he is sending you a signal that he does not want to be seen with you. You can always rationalize why your dates are connected to down time at home, but nevertheless, if you listen to your inner-voice, you will hear that he “likes” you, but does not “love” you. And, if your relationship feels like you are holding hands, but that if you let go, he’ll be gone… then you are definitely in denial.
However, sometimes, there is hope.
There are men who cannot use the “love” word or the “we” word. Now, this man may actually care for you, but be fearful of intimacy. Therefore, he finds ways to create space and distance between the two of you so that he can re-establish a sense of control. In fact, he may even start a fight after sexual activity to override his vulnerability and restore his own individuality. This is the man not to give up on. Intimacy can be developed through authentic communication and counseling.

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